Travels with Trolls
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Travels with Trolls
by Gilderoy Lockhart
There are three types of trolls: Mountain, Forest, and River. Troll language supposedly consists of grunting and pointing, but that description is courtesy of the Weasley twins, who were attempting to wind up Percy on the subject of his boss’ linguistic ability at the time.
The Mountain Troll is very stupid. It stands twelve feet tall, with gray skin, a lumpy body, and flat horny feet. It exudes a powerfully awful smell, “a mixture of old socks and the kind of public toilet no one seems to clean.” Its nose is full of what looks like lumpy, gray glue: troll boogers.
Quirrell, to create a diversion so he could go after the Philosopher’s Stone, let a Mountain Troll into the castle on Halloween. It wandered around the corridors until Harry and Ron locked it in a girls’ bathroom. Right after they did that, they realized that Hermione Granger was in that particular bathroom, and they had no choice but to charge in after it. With a luckly combination of derring-do, desperate magic, and sheer dumb luck, they managed to knock it out and save Hermione.
Quirrell, it turns out, has something of a knack for handling trolls. He placed one in the chambers guarding the stone, knowing he’d be able to knock it out quite easily when the time came. By the time Harry, Ron, and Hermione arrived in that chamber, the troll was knocked out cold.
Tom Riddle alleged that Hagrid, as a boy, would go into the Forbidden Forest to wrestle trolls.
Dumbledore hired security trolls to guard the Fat Lady after Sirius Black attacked her. These were evidently a different type of troll than the Mountain variety, since they seemed considerably more intelligent and less smelly. They spent all their time pacing the corridor in front of the Fat Lady’s portrait, giving dirty looks to everyone who happened by and comparing the sizes of their clubs. Umbridge apparently also hired security trolls to guard the Firebolt she had confiscated from Harry.
Hagrid and Madame Maxime ran into a couple of mad trolls on the Polish border while on their journey to visit the giants.